Very important disclaimer

Please be advised that the contents of this blog are opinions only (my opinion, the opinions of my family and the opinions of anyone else directly or indirectly involed in this blog). This is not an accredited training blog, nor is it an accredited anything blog. If you (and you) do anything that this blog says, or don't do anything that this site says not to do, and you get injured, sick or killed, you cannot blame me or my family or blame anyone else directly or indirectly involved in this blog. By reading anything on this blog (including this message) you are saying that you are a person who makes thier own choices in life and does not hold the writer of this blog, the writers family or any one else that may be directly or indirectly involved in the production or writing of this blog, responsible for your stupid and irresponsible behaviors, injuries, sicknesses or deaths. With that said, please enjoy my fun blog.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I can be a mean son of a gun…

…more on that later.

I got up this morning at 6:30, to start getting ready for the 9:00 start time for the Hypothermic Half Marathon that started down at Fort Calgary. I made coffee, I made a PBJ sandwich (using sprouted whole grain bread Carla) and had a glass of water. I had laid out all my stuff last night, so it was quite nice to just ease into the day. I left the house at 7:30 and got down to the start at 8ish. That was a bit of a mistake as there was no indoors to wait and since there was no indoors for potty breaks, just a couple of porta-loos stuck in a snowbank by the start line, I actually decided not to go. I thought it may (pardon the obvious pun) bite me in the @$$, but I felt ok and just put it out of my mind.

Most of our group was already there and I ended up sitting in Wayne’s car to stay warm while waiting for the start. While we were waiting a guy walked by wearing tights that were TOO tight and it started a conversation on what is appropriate for guys to wear while running. The guy we saw walking in his tights was too much for me. He was probably 45-50, not in bad shape, but no athlete, and you could see his beans and frank like there was a hole in his pants. As we sat there there was a couple more guys with the same ‘situation’ where their dangly bits and jock lines were clearly visible for all to enjoy. I know you have to be comfortable to run, but seriously, put a pair of running shorts over your long johns big boy!

Ok, it was about 10 minutes to the start and we figured we better join the crowd and head down to the start. As always, its a pretty underwhelming start with some announcements that no one can hear (I heard blahblah blah blah ice blah blah no blah tripping blah blah). I did run around like a monkey in a tree taking pictures at the start…


From left to right is ? (sorry i forget your friends name Tracy, I suk) Liz, Tracy and Kim


Wayne. Look over there ! --->>>


Tina and her husband Vlad, thanks for running with us Vlad!


MaryAnne and Michelle had a fine run!


Here's Gillian, Laura and Lauren, who are our fasties from the clinic, they were all worried about whether they could do a sub 2:00 and ended up with a 1:56. Super work ladies!


Barb and Doug, they are training for a Marathon and used this for a training run (still faster than me today…)


Yours truly : *Everybody was kung fu fighting…dodododo do do do do*


We started slow as per our plan and it felt pretty good. We got spread out quickly as there was only about 160 runners but being this is a store feature event, there was a lot of 10 and 1’s going on so there was a bunch of jockeying as people made their walks at different times. Wayne and Dasha had enough of our slow start and took off in pursuit of their 2:15 goal. We were a bit slower than them and soon lost sight of them. Our group was pretty chatty at first, the pathways were clear for the most part and everything was going to plan. I ran ahead to take a picture of the group… Looking good at 4k, with the group still smiling! From back to front we have Tracy in red, Kim in blue, Caroline in yellow, Tina in Blue, Vlad in Dark blue and Liz leading the way in pink.


The course crossed the river three times going out which added some nice variation to the run, and for the most part was a good trail. There were some icy spots, but not too many and we had a fairly relaxing first half of the half. I always like the part where we start to see the fastest runners coming back. we saw the leader at the 8k mark, which put him at the 13k mark… woowoo, fast.

We got to the turn around in pretty good shape and it was my plan to kick it into another gear for the return trip as it was a net elevation loss and with a light breeze. everyone picked it up from an average of 6:30 running pace to about a 6-6:10, and that felt pretty ok for a while.

We ran together as a group until the 15k mark and then there was a breakaway by Neil and Liz, but the peloton qucikly reacted and reeled us in and pretty much left us in their dust from that point.

Liz and I had one more fuel feed and I took my gu as usual, and Liz took her energy balls (don’t ask don’t tell policy was invoked here btw). They were frozen solid though so she had to hold them in her hand for a while to make them edible, but they melted all over her hands… hehe… runners are gross. She got started eating them and this conversation unfolded.

Me: “are you still eating?”

Liz: “yep”

Me 25 seconds later: “are you still eating?”

Liz: “yep”

Me 25 seconds later: “are you still eating?”

Liz: “yep”

Me 15 seconds later: “are you still eating?”

Liz: “yep, I eat like a chipmunk”

Me 10 seconds later: “are you still eating?”

Liz: “are we going to go faster when I’m done eating?”

Me: “yep”

Liz: “then yep, still eating”


Ok, Liz got done eating and we picked up the pace for a while. With 4k left we had this conversation.

Liz: “I’m hurting”

Me: “good, then you are doing it right”

Liz: …

hehe. I’m mean, but not a son of a gun… yet…

With 3k left we go under an overpass and it is really icy at the bottom and I warn Liz

Me: “walk up over here so you avoid the ice”

Liz looks up to see where I was pointing and slips on a small piece of ice and bangs her knee on the path.

Me: “you ok?”

Liz tearing up a bit: “yeah”

Me: “ok, get up, lets go”

Liz: “i think I banged my knee, it’s feeling hot”

Son of a gun Me: “Get up... The pain of running will make you forget about your knee... Come on, let’s go... run.”

Liz: …

She did. and she ran! off we went. She said she didn’t think she could do it. I told her that was her body telling her that, and that she could tell her brain to tell her body to shut the hell up, we’re running here!

She did it! she ran across the line in 2:23… smiling!

Everyone did Awesome. Dasha and Wayne came across in 2:14. Tina and Vlad did it in 2:16. Caroline and Tracy won their race in 2:18. Kim did her first half Marathon in 2:21 and Liz and I won our race in 2:23. Corie finished hers in the second wave in 2:30… What a day. Pure success for everyone! *woot*

For me it was my slowest 1/2 out of the 3 I have done (I joke that if I keep this up I’ll be a 4 hour 1/2 marathoner before you know it). It was my slowest, but it was my most fulfilling by a long shot. I enjoyed every minute of this training clinic and to see so many successes today was way better than any personal best time goal.


After the run, we had a terrific buffet brunch… which brings me to the rest of the day AND how you can successfully reverse the positive effects of running a half marathon.

9am to 11:23 run half marathon –2200 calories

Noon – 12:30 eat massive plate of Eggs, Bacon (9 pieces) hashbrowns, biscuits and orange juice. + 1250 Calories

1:30 pick-up home made lemon meringue pie from my mom


1:55 eat 1/2 the pie + 750 calories

5:00 cook vlentines supper for Traci and Andrew consisting of New York Striploin Steaks with Giant Prawns, asparagus and béarnaise sauce. Side that witha giant twice baked potato and grilled vegetables + 1250 Calories

7:30 finish most of pie +750 calories


Add various valentines chocolates and sweet drinks +1000 calories

So… –2200 calories for my run, then eat 5000 calories and I am officially fatter than I was before I ran the 1/2… SUCK-O

That was my day… the moral of the story is…* next time only eat 6 pieces of bacon after the 1/2*


  1. Good race report. I especially liked the calorie counting at the end

  2. Best calorie count I've seen in a while! Well done!