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Please be advised that the contents of this blog are opinions only (my opinion, the opinions of my family and the opinions of anyone else directly or indirectly involed in this blog). This is not an accredited training blog, nor is it an accredited anything blog. If you (and you) do anything that this blog says, or don't do anything that this site says not to do, and you get injured, sick or killed, you cannot blame me or my family or blame anyone else directly or indirectly involved in this blog. By reading anything on this blog (including this message) you are saying that you are a person who makes thier own choices in life and does not hold the writer of this blog, the writers family or any one else that may be directly or indirectly involved in the production or writing of this blog, responsible for your stupid and irresponsible behaviors, injuries, sicknesses or deaths. With that said, please enjoy my fun blog.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Sponsorship request

Hi advertisers and running related product suppliers.

Here is my list of ‘consumable’ items that I wish to receive sponsorships. My ultimate goal is to be the most sponsored recreational runner around. I run 10ish races a year, have my own run club and write this here blogger deal.
Here are the details of what you can expect when you sign me on as your athlete.

  1. I am very loud. Can be heard over jet engines and crying babies in most situations
  2. I will give your stuff away at an alarming rate.
  3. I will crash parties of people I don't know and make them love your stuff.
  4. My family always buys stuff I tell them too.
  5. I can sit in a booth for minutes at a time.
  6. My wife calls me a 'handshaker' as I am always striking up conversations with people I don't know, and making friends with them.
  7. I blog, therefore I should be sponsored. Why, just this month my followers count has gone up by 2 3 people!
  8. Kids and dogs LOVE me.
  9. I am a GREAT before picture.
Sales pitch over, here is my list of available sponsorship openings...
  • Cash. If you give me cash I will run for you. I will love you.
  • Tigram TenToes (r), a pair of the awesome gloved shoes..., Sponsored as of July 15th, 2010
  • Vibram Five Fingers, all types
  • Gu. I love the Gu. Use it on all runs over 1 hour. I drink it and I gel it.
  • HEED. I tried it, I liked it. Gu and and Heed, you guys battle it out for my devotion.
  • Groceries. It takes a lot of time and energy to eat well. I will eat well if you give me the expensive organic greens and other shit that is good for you.
  • Annuity funds, RRSP, RESP, IRA, Mortgage payments. nuff said.
  • Cash. See above. Also, for the right amount of cash, I'll call out, by name in this blog, all the people who crossed me in the last year or two.
  • Apparel. I love technical gear. Love it. Hats, bandanas, shirts, shorts, I'll try anything you send me and I will post a real review of the stuff.
  • Shoes. well…
  • Sunglasses. I like Oakley, but I'll wear whatever you send me.
  • GPS devices. I LOVE technology.
  • Music. I don’t run with it, but if you sent me some, I would.
  • Backpacks, Hydration systems, fuel belts, ID stuff and any other awesome ‘attachments’ you can think of.
  • Jenny Craig can come calling. I can’t afford her otherwise. 35lbs shed aught to give me the chance at a 1:40 half. During my recovery after that half I’ll go on live TV and beat the shit out of George Kastanza if JC sponsors me.
  • Kestrel, Cervelo, Felt, Blue, Ridley, Colnago, or Ceepco bikes. Don’t care, i’ll take whatever you give me. I will train for Triathlon in your name.
  • Cash sponsor for all of the above for 3 years, I will get a tattoo of your choosing on my ass and I will show to anyone who asks.
  • Vacation Tour operators. I will run in all the places you send me and tell everyone about it.
  • A coach. That would be amazing!!! I promise coach, i'll do you proud!
  • A nurtitionist. F-U Jenny Craig. I got a nutritionist!... er... sorry Ms Craig. I still love you, if you sponsor me. unless I get a nutritionist, then F-U!
I think that’s all, I'll update this list as my needs change and the couriers arrive... any day now.

4 comments:

  1. Yeah BFJ, i'll let you know how this goes for me... I expect the couriers to start arriving by Friday.

    ReplyDelete